Why I'm now obsessed with Beethoven

So Beethoven was a pretty brilliant composer. He was also a man of deep Christian faith. His music was always pretty good, until something huge happened. He started going deaf. Then his music got really, really good.

Many of his works were written whilst going deaf, or after he had completely lost his hearing. As a musician, this was incredibly hard for him, however with the help of the amazing community that surrounded him, he transformed his suffering into works of incredible depth and joy.

I love the way his music has this sombre feel and speaks to the dark parts of life, and yet always has hidden in it the seeds of joy, which burst out into incredibly uplifting passages.

So, not only is it amazing that Beethoven could write at all while deaf, let alone the complex works that he did compose, but I love the way he held on to joy. His faith was so deep that he had a source of joy that was totally independent on the events of his life, and he desired above all to bring that joy to others. Pretty inspiring.

Here is a symphony (number 9) he wrote near the end of his life. I think it shows how he put the honesty of his struggles and the fulness of his joy into his music (it includes the famous "ode to joy").

Lady bugs versus aphids

Every year I get the privilege of witnessing an exciting bug showdown right in my front yard. First the aphids come to suck all the juices out of our lovely rose bushes. But I know it will be OK, because shortly after that, the lady bugs arrive. The lady bugs themselves will eat up to 60 aphids in a day. They also lay eggs, which hatch out into weird looking, fast growing, ravenously hungry larvae. The larvae can eat their weight in aphids each day.

Pretty soon, my rose bushes are absolutely crawling with lady bugs and their babies. (The photo above is from the start of the season - I found no larvae that day, and only about 20 adult bugs). It's fantastic to watch it all happening each year, and it's satisfying to know I don't have to worry about getting rid of the aphids myself.

The only spanner in the works is the ants. I didn't get a good photo of the ants this time, but they do seem to try to protect the aphids. They aren't really a match for the overwhelming numbers of lady bugs though, and it's kinda cool to have this extra bit of complexity in the ecosystem. If the ants are invested in the aphids, it's most likely because they harvest and eat the aphids poo! I haven't caught my ants doing this yet, but I found this great video on youtube showing it happening.

Time to go out to my garden and try to get my own video of it!

The Problem with Puritanism (and why sin matters, but not how they thought it did)

The problem with legalism and puritanism is not that it takes sin too seriously, but that it takes sin too lightly. (I mean by sin, behaviours and attitudes that destroy lives when they come to full fruition, or as my great friend Jess describes it, simply dysfunction).

Legalism spreads out broad, gets greedy, condemns more and more activities as sinful - first premarital sex, then all sex (it has to be done, but it's much better if you don't if you can help it), then dancing because it leads to sex, too much facial hair, too much jewellery, listening to the wrong music...
The problem is that, though it is so broad and all encompassing, it never goes deeper than surface level.

As a recovering self-righteous prig, I know all too well the dangers of only thinking about the surface level. It's a focus on the symptoms, not the cause.

We need to think about sin more seriously. To do that, we need to stop focussing on the outside. Not that many things are really sinful in and of themselves. You don't need to regulate everything you do, or force yourself to give up everything fun.

No, to take sin more seriously, we have to go deeper. We have to go right to the deepest part of our hearts, our minds. When we are selfish, when we are afraid, when we hate, when we get angry and don't resolve it, but let it fester there, when have desires and try to bury them, where they grow in the dark and secret places. Those are the real sins. Those are the attitudes that become the actions, like murder, lying, cheating on our partner, stealing, gossiping...

Jesus said it in his sermon on the mount. He said things like 

You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.’ But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire.

The secret attitudes of our hearts can destroy us, even if we never act on them. Hatred, bitterness and resentment can eat you up inside, stopping you enjoying life. Fear (as I know too well) can hamstring you, prevent you from doing the things that really matter and forcing you to focus on yourself instead of reaching out in love to other people. That's the tragedy of sin. That is hell on earth.

Can any of us really get rid of those things, deep in our heart? I don't think we can, totally. I can't, and people much older and wiser than me say the same. But I think once we have become aware of this and admitted that we are helpless, that's when we can begin to heal. That's when Jesus can enter in and start His work in our broken lives and souls. And that's when we can begin to experience true freedom. Not just freedom from the legalistic system of outer rules and regulations, but freedom from the tyranny of our own darkness.

Light drives out darkness.
Love drives out fear.
Truth drives out deception.
Those with ears, let us hear.

(Image by Daina Kahu at http://www.dainakahu.com)

Grace, rules and the bible.

Is the bible a rule book divinely dictated down by God? I used to think so, but now I think I'm starting to change my mind. I'm starting to think of it as something flexible; something that is "useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness" precisely because it is so flexible. It is an inspired response to God's intrusions into our reality; to those times that in some way God meets us where we are. It was inspired by God at the time of writing - but just as importantly, it is inspired by God at the time of reading. God changes us through our reading by His Spirit. He breathes into and through the text, into us the readers.

Now why am I thinking about this. Well the other day I was reading a passage by Paul and it was about dealing with sin in the church. It was very graceful. "Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness."
That got me thinking about another famous passage of Paul's about dealing with sin in the church - the one in Corinthians, where it says "hand him over to satan."

Talk about polar opposites! And as I thought about that, I realised that this happens all the time in the bible; sometimes in two passages that are right next to each other.

Something I do sometimes with the bible (that I've recently been trying to avoid), is I try and find out what decision I am meant to make by looking in there for similar situations, and just copying whatever it is they did in the bible. If the bible is inspired and infallible, then clearly, that would be the best way to go right? Well, actually, no. Because the bible isn't a rule book. It's a grace book. Ever since Jesus came, the rules have been out the window. Not because we aren't meant to try and be good people, make good decisions and do good works. But because we are supposed to do this through grace, discernment and wisdom, as fully matured children of God. We aren't supposed to blindly follow a rule book in order to make all our decisions.

It is far, far easier to treat the bible as just a rule book - but that diminishes what the bible is and what Jesus came to do. Far harder, but more glorious, is to become the people that Jesus calls us to be - sons, and not just slaves.

Lemon, lime and bitters pie

This is the recipe for lemon, lime and bitters pie, I made it yesterday and it is great, but very rich. There are two different ways to do the topping, I will write both. The first one would be better I think because it uses less cream so it is probably a bit less stodgy.

For the crust: You need to either buy a pie shell or make a basic pie shortcrust such as this one (in my recipe book at home the replace one tablespoon of water with white vinegar. Not sure if it makes any difference.). Prebake the pie shell completely as it will not go back into the oven with the filling.

For the filling:
Ingredients:

• 1/4 cup lemon juice
• 1/4 cup lime juice
• 1 tbsp orange bitters
• zest from 1 lemon
• zest from one lime
• 75 grams butter, cubed
• 3/4 cup caster sugar
• 4 eggs, lightly beaten

Method:

1. Place eggs and sugar in a double boiler and whisk until the sugar dissolves
2. Add butter, juices and zest and whisk until the mixture is thick enough for you to leave a trail with a whisk that closes over only very slowly. Do not allow the mixture to boil.
3. Add the bitters and whisk in for around five more minutes. Put in fridge until completely cool.
4. Add to the prebaked pie crust and put on topping.
5. If you are short on eggs or don't want to use so many, you can substitute in some cornflour for the eggs. This is basically just a modified lemon curd so you can look up how much you will need to substitute. You will have to cook it a bit different if you do it that way because cornflour in cooking needs a bit of care.

For the topping (version 1 - this one must be put onto the pie immediately after making):
Ingredients:

• 2 tbsp lemon juice
• 2 tbsp lime juice
• 1 tbsp bitters
• 1/4 cup caster sugar
• double cream or similar
• a bit of lime zest (a teaspoon or so)

Method:

1. Sprinkle lime zest onto the filling in the tart shell.
2. Combine sugar, juices and bitters in a small saucepan over low heat and bring to the boil, stirring continuously.
3. Cook until the mixture reaches the hard crack stage ( approx. 143 C, or when it forms brittle threads when drizzled into icy water).
4. Take off heat and allow to cool a little before drizzling over the curd filling in a lattice shape.
5. Serve with a dollop of cream on the side.

Topping version 2 (this one should not be put onto the pie until just before you serve it):
Ingredients:

• Whipped cream
• a little zest from a lemon and a lime (1tsp or so)
• 2tbsp lemon juice
• 2 tbsp lime juice
• 1 tbsp bitters
• 1/4 cup caster sugar

Method:

1. Put whipped cream over the curd filling and sprinkle zest over the top.
2. Make the syrup in the same way as in version one, but cook only until the liquid reaches the thread stage (it forms soft, loose, thin threads when dropped into icy water, approx. 106-112 C)
3. Allow the syrup to cool until it is safe to eat at least, then pour over the top of the whipped cream and zest before serving.
4. If you want to store the syrup in the fridge you can but you might need to warm it up a bit before you serve the pie so it pours more easily. You could also make a bit more syrup so that you could pour it over each slice on its own plate. Just don't go overboard - this sauce is very flavoursome :)

If you try this recipe, don't be afraid to modify it you think it needs it, because I am still trialling things. If you do try it, please let me know how it goes!

Saskia